Everyone wants to wake up to a ton of presents under the Christmas tree. This is America after all, and that’s a total given.
That said? There are three little words which can inspire fear in the heart of even the most jolly elf: “Some assembly required.”
While the other three little words — come on, you know the ones we’re talking about — can make for a very different type of terror, looking a shiny package and knowing you could make or break a entire yuletide season weighs heavy on heart of those steely enough to volunteer for toy assembly duty.
But just as our friendly budtenders are here to help you choose from the dizzying selection at Bothell’s best weed shop, we’re here to help you navigate the minefield of instruction manuals and tiny pieces which arises from the carnage of crumpled wrapping paper and sliced ribbon. Read on for our guide to strains that’ll keep you sane assembling toys!
Green Crack, by Clandestine
Don’t let the name scare you. Clandestine’s fantastic Green Crack — 90% Sativa, 22.7% THC — won’t have you bouncing off the walls. Rather, you’ll be able to devote your attention to assembling your brother’s incredibly complicated Star Wars lego set, even if he is 34 and should be able to do it himself. Seriously, this is your fault. You’re the one that took him to see Rogue One at the AMC Lowes Woodinville 12.
Cherries Jubilee, by Legends
This tasty strain — 22.9% THC — from Washington powerhouse Legends’ most defining characteristic might be the fantastic mood it inspires after a coupe of tokes. So see why we’re recommending it for this application? So try to keep that positive attitude going forward after everything is put together, even if you’d rather have a day-old burrito from Qdoba on Bothell-Everett Highway than anything your Aunt Mildred brought.
Agent Orange, by Green Acres
Nope, Agent Orange — 80% Sativa, 19% THC — isn’t just the name of a killer SoCal skate-punk band, and this strain is known for its cerebral effects. Of course, when you’re trying to make sense of instructions that are only printed in Japanese, Korean, and Mandarin, you’re going to need all the mental agility you can summon. It’ll likely even allow you to ignore the fact that Uncle Jim is halfway through the bottle of Maker’s Mark he got from Pete’s Liquor and Wine near Thrasher’s Corner.
Well, there you have it. Indulge in one of these fantastic strains before you descend into labyrinth prior to transforming dreams into reality, and we can guarantee you survive Christmas morning with — at least most of — your mind intact. Here’s hoping you don’t have any extra pieces!
Happy holidays from your friends at Herbal Nation, Bothell’s best recreational marijuana shop!